Asking for help is more difficult than it seems.

Last week we received an email from a BGA member which highlighted the importance of all of the work we are doing surrounding mental health in the industry and why we really do need Grooms Minds.

Our member wrote to us to say,

"Asking for help is more difficult than it seems.

Today I feel that no matter what you do, you can't get away from the mental health stigma. I'm sure others feel the same way too.

Having recently been told by a friend of mine that I'm being branded 'the girl with the bad attitude' has quite frankly upset me.

A few months ago I left my employment because I just couldn’t cope with the job anymore. It was making me desperately unhappy and I had no support in every sense of the word.

Have employers ever thought/ noticed that going weeks on end without a day off because they can't find any cover staff might have an impact on your physical and mental health?

That by still caring about the job and working to the highest of standards you can, all whilst managing to do all the day to day jobs plus getting up early and working late in order to get through your job list means that you are sacrificing the slightest chance of having a social life yourself. It’s not that I want to go out and get ‘drunk’ but I need time away from my job and time with my friends.

That being made to feel stupid when you finally ask for help makes you feel like a failure.

While I might have seemed like I had a ‘bad attitude’ this wasn’t because I wanted to come across like this, but for months I have been ignored.

I put up with it until it got too much, then on the last day I asked for help from my employer who reassured me that they had my back, only to then hear from them on the way home that actually, regardless of what I told them whilst holding back the tears to not look weak, that I was the problem all along and they basically didn't have my back.

From then on I was stamped with the brand 'you have a bad attitude.'

I left that employment and I have now accepted a full time job which half of me is excited about and the other half is terrified of asking for help if I need it.

Why are we made to feel like there is something wrong if we are having a bad day, or if we need more help, or want a day off? Why is there is still a stigma when it comes to mental health and it’s not acceptable to say to someone ‘I’m not okay’?

Maybe next time you see someone struggling ask yourselves if making that unnecessary comment is really worth it. Instead ask them if they are okay, if there is anything you can do to help, if they want to talk.

They might not, but instead of saying something negative it might just give them a confidence boost they need and make their day.”

If you need to talk don’t forget to visit Grooms Minds.